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ANSWERED on Sat 24 Mar 2007 - 6:00 pm UTC by sublime1

Question: What Does a Female Vampire Look Like?

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Sat 24 Mar 2007 - 6:25 am UTC

Question

probo
Customer

And how can I protect myself from them?

The reason I ask is because I am going to a party at a house where I expect vampires to be present.

I am an innocent, extremely handsome, young male: the sort that Female Vampires would positively drool over.

Please, what should I do?

Bela

 
 

Sat 24 Mar 2007 - 7:57 am UTC

Uclue Researcher Comment

John E
Researcher

Eating lots of garlic will protect you from vampires and everyone else, as well. I know from experience. I once did a 7-day cleansing diet that called for drinking several glasses a day of a concoction consisting of V8 juice, cabbage juice, and 3 cloves of garlic added to the mix.

At the time, I was confused about what a clove consisted of, so I threw in 3 *bulbs* of garlic. The taste didn't really bother me so much, but when a friend knocked on the front door on the lower landing, and I yelled to her from upstairs to come in, she quickly asked, "What's that smell?"

I was so entrenched in the odor that I had no idea, but we figured it out soon enough. Needless to say, she didn't stay long.

The cleansing diet was a complete success. I was seeing colours [sic] I'd never seen before after 7 days. And to this day, I can't get enough garlic...  ; )

 

Sat 24 Mar 2007 - 10:43 am UTC

Comment

probo
Customer

Brilliant, John, Many Thanks.

I will follow your advice without reservation.

I doubt if any other Researcher or Commentor could have nailed down the problem so quickly - if ever!

Please locate your Answer Button and SHOOT!

Bela

 

 

Sat 24 Mar 2007 - 12:00 pm UTC

Comment

myoarin
User

Being much the same sort of "innocent, extremely handsome, young male", I would welcome the opportunity to meet any female who "would positively drool over" me.  Forego the garlic  - maybe she isn't a vampire -  but wear one of those neck supports and have a good story about how you injured yourself in some thrilling way, which will make you even more attracting.  It is also challenging fun to spin out such a story for the whole evening (see Galandria).
To be on the safe side, you might decorate the neck support with silk band (Husar colours) with a little cross and let each young female (and the males) know how you feel that your survival of the accident was due to your strong Christian faith, adding a soft "thanks to God" or to your patron saint.  (There doesn't seem to be a St. Bela, nor a St. Bryan or Brian, for that matter, so pick one that really was canonized.)  If any face-to-face contact should develop, your being so innocent is a plus, since you won't know ... er, what to do, which could protect you from having your tongue fanged.

Oh, what do they look like?   Very attractive, but always with straight black hair and a sallow complexion, and they wear too much and too dark lipstick.  Since I know you prefer ruddy faced blondes, I don't expect that you will find them personally attractive.

Have fun, Myo

 

Sat 24 Mar 2007 - 12:10 pm UTC

Uclue Admin Comment

Sublime1, a "clove" actually means a "bunch". You know, those clusters of six or so "bulbs" that are sometimes sold tied together with string.

So, when the instructions suggest to take one or two "cloves" of garlic, you know what to do.

Regards,
eiffel

PS: In Transylvanian recipes, "clove" means a boxful.

 

Sat 24 Mar 2007 - 12:24 pm UTC

Comment

ribuck
User

Bela asks what a female vampire looks like - there are a few good images at:

Vampier Gallery
http://bl00dyvampires.tripod.com/id10.html

As for what they will be wearing at the party, the modern female vampire wears the modern female vampire costume:

Costumes Galore
http://www.costumesgalore.net/costumes/halloween/dracula/modern_female_vampire_costume.html

 

Sat 24 Mar 2007 - 2:54 pm UTC

Comment

markvmd
User

In my nightmares they look like Anna Nicole Smith (*shudder*) but less drugged. Silly me, the only way anything could look MORE drugged would be for them to actually BE the drug itself.

Befoe ANS was in vogue (or in Vogue, if she ever was in that magazine), they looked like Janice Dickinson. Still do.

 

Sat 24 Mar 2007 - 6:00 pm UTC

Uclue Researcher Answer

John E
Researcher

Bela...

Thanks for accepting my comment as your answer. I'll repost it here for the sake of future readers.

---

Eating lots of garlic will protect you from vampires and everyone else, as
well. I know from experience. I once did a 7-day cleansing diet that called
for drinking several glasses a day of a concoction consisting of V8 juice,
cabbage juice, and 3 cloves of garlic added to the mix.

At the time, I was confused about what a clove consisted of, so I threw in
3 *bulbs* of garlic. The taste didn't really bother me so much, but when a
friend knocked on the front door on the lower landing, and I yelled to her
from upstairs to come in, she quickly asked, "What's that smell?"

I was so entrenched in the odor that I had no idea, but we figured it out
soon enough. Needless to say, she didn't stay long.

The cleansing diet was a complete success. I was seeing colours [sic] I'd
never seen before after 7 days. And to this day, I can't get enough
garlic...  ; )

---

I'd like to thank admin for clarifying the quantitative terms, especially for the Transylvanian recipes.

I apologize for not addressing what female vampires look like, though others have done so. It's just that I don't want to promote stereotypes and prejudicial perceptions. We have enough of those floating around already. And, as everyone should know, any person of the feminine persuasion can be bitten by a vampire and become one themselves.

Vampirism is an Equal Opportunity Condition (EOC), and can be inflicted on females of all hairstyles and colors. The idea that they would tend to be pale stems from the fact that they cannot withstand exposure to sunlight, and so they sleep during the day and have no tan whatsoever. The fact is that modern makeup can easily mask this, and there are plenty of female security guards and nurses who work the graveyard shift who can attest to this.

I'd approach the issue more from a behavioural [sic] perspective. Beware of women who spend an inordinate amount of time focused on your jugular vein (though nurses and security guards have also been known to do this). To facilitate this, avoid garnering hickeys prior to the party.

Naturally, you also want to be cautious of women who have the telltale bite marks of a newly-minted vampiress. Also be cautious of women wearing turtle necks or collars, who might be covering up such scars. Then again, they could just be covering up hickeys.

As you can see, all this can necessitate a kind of hypervigilance which can spoil the fun of attending the party. Ingesting massive amounts of garlic can relieve you of the need for this bothersome watchfulness, leaving you free to relax and enjoy the evening with whomever manages to remain in your vicinity.

sublime1 - from the Crypt

 
 

Sun 25 Mar 2007 - 12:06 am UTC

Comment

myoarin
User

Oh well, do it Sublime's way, but you could then just as well stay at home with the garlic  - and the other guests would be very appreciative.

 

Sun 25 Mar 2007 - 6:58 am UTC

Accepted and rated

probo
Customer

Sublime as always, John, Very Many Thanks!

I went to the Party and had a ball thanks to you and to the others who kindly provided additional info and, in particular, Ribuck who - Would You Believe? - was also at the same party!

Of course, there were also several others whose names are familiar among users of this Community, but they did ask me to keep their identities 'under my hat'.

However, it was really nice to see so many Researchers there among us common folk ... and one even spoke to me!
 
It was sort of like the Queen or The Pope giving an audience.

I was suitably humbled.

Here's to the next time.

Bela







 

Sun 25 Mar 2007 - 7:59 am UTC

Uclue Researcher Comment

John E
Researcher

Bela...

Thanks very much for the 5 stars, the generous tip, and the report of your success. I can appreciate the need for anonymity, but I must say I'm not surprised at Ribuck's presence (I hear he's something of a party aminal).

I understand your sense of humility at being personally addressed by one of these renowned Researchers...I often feel the same way!

But I've no doubt you will be among the first to be Knighted (or Sainted) by the Royalty.

sublime1 of the Above

 

Wed 28 Mar 2007 - 9:52 am UTC

Comment

myoarin
User

Hi Bela/Bryan,

I found just the person to protect you from vampires:
http://storage.canalblog.com/69/64/1341/5691137.jpg

Myo

 

Sun 30 Mar 2008 - 10:26 am UTC

Comment

amatures, i do not know if you will read this, i realise you posted this dribble a while ago. first off, garlic will put any one off, thats a well known fact, second, garlic doesnt bother us, neither the cross, holy water, churches, even daylight. we dont like daylight, our eyes tend to be sensitive, but we will not burn up!!. we do not have to sleep in coffins, though it is very comfortable. and protecting your neck wont stop us. drinking your blood wont turn you, its not as simple as that. i am trusting most of your sources came from the tales of dracula and various other FICTIONAL characters. if u want to repel a female vampire i suggest staying your hot headed self, my mistress wouldnt bite you simply because of your arrogance in thinking we would drool over u. hunting for prey is a challenge, we dont go for looks. any vampire (spelt vampyre in my court) who has pride in their kind, will only hunt for prey as they would a life partner, we dont go for any one, few of us will even take to preying on peopl we have not known for a while. basicly your safe. the ones you may want to watch out for are the phycic vampyres. not that you could do anything about them any way. hope you had a good night. regards, khain

 

Sun 30 Mar 2008 - 10:43 am UTC

Comment

probo
Customer

Very many thanks, Khain

I found your reassurances very reassuring.

I shall now watch out for phycic vampyres but it would help enormously if you could advise me how best to go about this, please.

Bela

 

Sun 30 Mar 2008 - 2:02 pm UTC

Comment

myoarin
User

I'm not so worried about "vampyres", since Khain's seem a rather civil lot.

For a little background from etymonline:
"vampire Look up vampire at Dictionary.com
    1734, from Fr. vampire or Ger. Vampir (1732, in an account of Hungarian vampires), from Hung. vampir, from O.C.S. opiri (cf. Serb. vampir, Bulg. vapir, Ukrainian uper), said by Slavic linguist Franc Miklošič to be ult. from Kazan Tatar ubyr "witch." An Eastern European creature popularized in Eng. by late 19c. gothic novels, however there are scattered Eng. accounts of night-walking, blood-gorged, plague-spreading undead corpses from as far back as 1196. Applied 1774 by Fr. biologist Buffon to a species of South American blood-sucking bat."

And then since Probo seems to be succeptible to vamps: 
"vamp (n.) Look up vamp at Dictionary.com
    "seductive woman," 1911, short for vampire. First attested use is earlier than the release of the Fox film "A Fool There Was" (January 1915), with sultry Theda Bara in the role of The Vampire. But the movie was based on a play of that name that had been a Broadway hit (title and concept from a Kipling poem, "The Vampire"), and the word may ultimately trace to Bara's role. At any rate, Bara (real name Theodosia Goodman) remains the classic vamp."

Myo

 

Sat 3 May 2008 - 7:25 pm UTC

Uclue Researcher Comment

John E
Researcher

Bela...

"Phycic vampyres" are better understood (and researched) as "psychic vampires", which is not to be read as psy-chic but as psych-ic (lest you get excited about an interesting variation of chic). This is because they have icky psyches. These are the type of people who can bring a whole room down in the dumps upon entering, vs the kind of person who can light up an entire room upon entering. There are those who do this unknowingly, who simply have such a low vibration that they tend to bring others down. There may be others who do this intentionally, though I've never met one. And I have to take issue with the opinion that there is nothing you can do to protect yourself from this phenomenon.

Phylameana on About.com is a good place to begin your education:
http://healing.about.com/cs/energyhealing/a/aa_vampires.htm

Also consider what my spiritual teacher, Paul Solomon, told us. He noted that children (aka "rugrats") often exhibit this behavior, and asked the women in the room how often they'd had the experience of sitting with another parent, watching their kids bouncing off the walls with exuberance until, at some point, they come, exhausted, to mommy's lap, where they lay their heads in a sudden, sleep-like calm, only to jump up a few minutes later, seemingly recharged with a burst of new energy, to resume wall-bouncing. His question for the mothers was, "How did you feel afterwards?" Without exception, they noted that, though they'd never thought about it before, they realized that they felt suddenly tired, and, having repeated the scenario several times by the end of the day, they felt exhausted by that time, though they'd only been sitting and quietly talking.

sublime1

 

Sat 3 May 2008 - 8:22 pm UTC

Comment

myoarin
User

For a minute there, I was thinking that "rugrat" somehow applied to me, but then understood that the Sublime link was about induction transferral of energy, like how my electric toothbrush is recharged.

I am afraid that vampires (and/or vampyres) are not capable of recharging themselves this way, probably a factor with their psychic development, or lack thereof.

 

Sun 4 May 2008 - 6:35 am UTC

Comment

probo
Customer

Many thanks, Subby, for the enlightenment.

If you care to read an earlier Question:

http://uclue.com/?xq=24

You will find that I have adopted the phenomena you describe for commercial use:

QUOTE

It was about 1980 when I first set eyes on a Canon Bubblejet printer and I immediately recognised the opportunity to provide an easy, low-cost method of refilling Ink Cartridges.

Consequently, I have put a LOT OF THOUGHT into my new method which is now ready for PUBLIC Beta Test.

It is known as the thINK System and all that is needed are 4 bottles of ink. the empty ink cartridges and a Lot of Thought.

Using powerful Thought-Transfer-Technology, the user then simply sits
in front of these contraptions and moves the ink from the appropriate
bottles into the various cartridges.

Initially, I did have problems refilling all four cartridges
simultaneously and also in getting the ink into the correct cartridge but all these problems are now SOLVED!

The process is clean and hygienic and I am sure that it will receive the Good Housekeeping Seal of Approval.

The only problem remaining is the Beta Test ... It works for me but will it also work for less gifted people like Politicians, Warlords and the like?

Your advice will be much appreciated.

Thank You All

Harold Hill (Professor) 

UNQUOTE

Needless to say, I received overwhelming encouragement from many Ucluians.

Probo

 

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